Friday, February 20, 2015

Start with your words

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit- you choose." - Proverbs 18:21 The Message

Instructions to me from GOD- "Start with your words." When I was asking how I could help others, do God's work for others, that was my instructions.

A few weeks ago I was asking the kids who shows me the most love in the house. They all answered at once "THE DOG." There was no delay or hesitation in their answer. Then I asked "who does mom show the most love to?" Their answer was the same. I could not believe it. Annoyed, I asked why they thought this. Again they all answered the same "because you talk to him nicely."

That was a real eye opener.

And they weren't wrong. The dog does show me the most love. And in their minds I am sure I do talk to the dog "nicer" than I talk to them. Simply because I don't have to nag the dog. Mostly there is not negative interaction with the dog, just positive, loving words.

Damn I talk to my dog better than I talk to my kids. That needs to change. More yelling at the dog, kidding. More positive speaking to the kids.

The thing is I actually am a positive, people building, I love to give out compliments type of person. I always have been. I am assuming my kids see this and see I am dishing out nice words all over the place besides home. The negative words have taken over at home. Now, the kids are not off the hook completely. If their sweet selves did everything asked of them without nagging or complaining that would eliminate the need of a lot of the negative. But their kids and with that comes reminders and timers and second, third and fourth chances. Which can all be done in a more loving, positive way.

That was eye opener number one. Eye opener number two is that all the other crap doesn't seem to matter in my kids eyes and how I am showing them love. The "extras" insert whatever yours are, mine are running them everywhere, having elaborate birthday parties and play dates, spending too much at Christmas and trying to make the perfect memories, well these extras do not matter in the love world. Yes I am sure they are important, but bottom line, my kids would feel loved without them if I talked nicely to them. That just took a whole lot off my to do list and my wallet is thanking me.

If we all spoke with more compassion and empathy and love how much would that heal the world and the people of it. How many arguments, broken hearts, crushed spirits, wars, and divorces could be avoided if people used their words for fruit rather than poison.

To help the world- start with your words.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

I have been handed the watering can

I used to think I had no dreams. I had no goals or ambitions. It wasn't that I didn't want great things to happen to me or to live a life I loved, but rather I wasn't dreaming with purpose. I was treading water in dream land, not swimming towards anything.

I prayed about this for some time and did some writing about it and pulled my dreams out of the corners of my mind. I do believe they were there all along, they were just buried under kids, family, to do lists and jobs. I had too many fires to put out to plant any dreams.

The thing is I don't just have one dream, I have so many dreams. They are in every different direction and don't seem to tie together in anyway. I have so many things I want to do. I dream big as there is a long list of them, not just one big thing I want to accomplish.

I feel like my dreams have been planted.  I have picked out what seeds I want and planted them in the ground. Step one is done.
Step two was to pray about my dreams. Ask for direction and guidance and for GOD to water my seeds. This has been going on awhile, lot of praying and waiting and having faith my dreams will come to pass.

Today I realized that GOD has watered by seeds and handed me the watering can. Its up to me what to do now. I can keep watering the dreams, the seeds that I have planted. Keep praying, keep believing and waiting and having faith. Or I can hand the watering can back. I can choose to let my dreams die for now or forever. I can choose to keep living the life I am living because I am afraid of change, or afraid of not having enough, or afraid of failing.

GOD is saying to me the next step is yours. I can't water the whole plot by myself, you need to do some of the work. You need to make some of the choices. You can keep praying, pray for rain, pray for me to soak your seeds, pray that the other plot, your current life keeps flowing, keeps moving, there is still an abundance. Pray for me to bless your seeds. You still need to chose, you still need to pick up the watering can.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Getting ready for the weekend

This has been a day to recharge and fill up the well. I went to spinning this morning, had time to sit and read and pray. Now its snowing and I am getting ready for a snowshoe with Moose. One of my ideal days. Doing several things that strengthen me.

I am putting off cleaning the house, organizing the playroom and doing laundry. That stuff will fit in the cracks later between doing the good stuff. I need to do more of the good stuff. I am finding that the older my kids get the more I need to do the things that strengthen me mentally. In order to be a focused, present, and patient mom to my three girls, my mental state needs to be stocked and strengthened. Its funny how you shift from the need of sleep when they are younger to the need of emotional and mental strength as they get older.

This weekend will be busy with basketball and one of my favorite nephews birthday party. There will be some alone time for Chris and I as my mom takes the kids for one of the nights. This is long overdue. Some time to reconnect and take off the parenting hat for a few hours and just wear the adult hat. Lighten the responsibility for a bit so we can purposefully focus on each other. Something we don't nearly do enough of. Thank GOD for grandparents!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Serenity Prayer


The definition of Serenity is "the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled."

I cannot change how others treat me. I cannot change how other people feel about me or what their opinion of me is. I cannot change their actions, motives, thoughts, feelings, measures of success or how they define love.

I can change how I react. I can change how I feel about others and how I treat others. I can change how I treat myself and how I show love. I can change my motives and thoughts which will change my feelings. I can change my opinion. I can change my words.

Wisdom will come. Don't react, wait for the wisdom.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Happy Birthday Julia

Happy 10th Birthday Julia.

Ten years, ten years have gone so fast. You have changed so much but also very much remained the same sweet girl you always were. You were born January 12, 2005 during the middle of an ice storm. Your birth was calm and quiet. Much like you are. I devoured you as a baby. You didn't spend a lot of time out of my arms. Your smile spread across your whole face. You loved to sleep and sit quietly.

You have grown to be a peacekeeper between your two sisters. You love deeply, but only allow a few people into your heart. Those people will remain there forever. You feel deeply but don't say a lot. You quietly deal with things. You are extremely funny and clever and make me smile everyday. I love that you are speaking up more and are confident in who you are.

You love art. You love your friends. You love movies. You love to be in the midst of the chaos but left alone. You love basketball. You love your new IPod. You love your family and your dogs. You love camping and Aruba.

You hate music. You hate potatoes.

I am so thankful to have you in my life Julia Brynn. You give love daily. I am proud of you and the amazing girl that you are. My world is better everyday because you are in it.

I can't wait to watch you grow and shine during the next 10 years. These will be some of the best years of your life and I want to soak them all in. Soak you all in. The next 10 years together are going to be great.

I know I'll read this post when you turn 20 and be amazed at all that happened in 10 years. You will be off at college, traveling the world, keeping Rylie in line and be so full of life. I'll be taking advantage of every visit, every phone call, still soaking you all in.

Here's to you Julia. My amazing, unique, wise, witty, smart, loving daughter. I love you.

Friday, January 16, 2015


I am doing a random post today because nothing is coming forefront to my mind to write about. I have read a lot of other posts lately about creating time to do the things that you love. Also to use January and its solitude and darkness to look within at your goals and dreams. I am working on both and it has left my mind somewhat overloaded. I did however get up at 5:30am which is a miracle to write and pray. This is my new approach at creating time.

Goals and dreams are swirling in my head and when they are a bit more concrete I'll do some writing about those.


This week Julia turned 10. She is am amazing, sweet and wonderful child. I am blessed to be her mom. She is loved dearly by her family. More on this later!

This week also marked the one year anniversary of my pepere's passing. I had the opportunity to watch some home movies last month of my grandparents and see a side of them I had never seen. It was wonderful to watch my grandfather playing as a adult. He was acting goofy and it was such a surprise to me, as a kid I never saw this side.

Basketball is in full swing. Keeping up with their schedules and running the kids around has left me a bit behind in life. I love watching them play though. Their determination and love for the game is worth all the time spent. Julia is humble, she does great but doesn't make a big deal about it. Rylie is super competitive and wants to be the best. Her mood depends a lot of how well she is doing. Caitlin likes the social aspect of the game and being on a team sport.

The kids are fighting so much it makes me want to tear my hair out. Something needs to change. The constant noise of them arguing is making me an angry mother.

I am working hard on eating mindfully. This is both difficult and surprising. Surprising on how much I was eating before without even knowing it or taking the time to enjoy and taste it. This is something I need to set an example on for my girls. A life long skill.

Its Friday morning, I have the day off, the house is quiet and I am drinking a cup of coffee. Doesn't get much better than this.

Off to enjoy the last few minutes of quiet. This weekend tell someone how pleased you are with them. Build someone up. Drop a few coins in their well.

Friday, January 9, 2015


Snow twirls through the air as the wind blows
Heavy branches fight to move with the wind
Birds sing softly while hiding in the trees
Silence surrounds me

I walk forward, the ground crunches
Cloudy skies all around me
A gust of wind chills my face
I breathe in the cool, dry air

The house is alive with lights
Hot chili simmers on the stove
Kids run restless burning off their energy inside
Dogs nap, curled up tight keeping warm

Candles burn throughout the house
Christmas lights hang in the window
Bedrooms call to us with their warm flannel sheets
Fire burns hot in the wood stove

We wake in the dark, cold bedrooms, cold noses
The world wakes slowly, peacefully
A storm is approaching, birds are quickly gathering
A few flakes start falling, the world awaits the fresh snow